I wrote my first short story in 2004 at the age of 17, called Death, Betrayal and Taxes. A short and silly attempt at comedy, my 17-year old self found it hilarious but alas it falls short of my current standards of story writing.
A year later I wrote my second short story, Trials of a Buddhist Monk Named Bob. Equally silly and random but somewhat longer, it included such chapters as The Never-Ending
Sentence Tunnel, a whole chapter consisting of a single sentence containing about 600 words, and the chapter wherein nothing happens, which is a whole chapter wherein nothing happens. Along with Death, Betrayal and Taxes, the story was previously published on a website I created in my mid-teens called the Crazy Bastards Association (CBA). Said website is no longer live (I can't even remember who it was hosted with, I'm pretty sure it was on one of these free webhosting services that would place adverts upon your site in exchange for letting you host it) and therefore neither are the aforementioned stories. Nonetheless in 2014 I considered re-formatting Trials of a Buddhist Monk Named Bob to my current standards and adding a self-deprecating foreword for added humour, with the intention of publishing it here on Lord Fnorgle's Domain, but never got around to it. I might still do so one day, even if only to expose the grammatical and linguistic horrors of The Never-Ending Sentence to the world.
Going back in time now to December 2010, I was talking about those stories to a girl I was dating at the time who encouraged me to write more. To transcribe my subsequent train of thought verbatim: "I'm sure I can muster something...muster...mustard...mustard pot. Diary of a Mustard Pot!" I think it was she who suggested including a turkey, which I then incorporated as the turkey from Turkey. This was the first of my short stories in the "Diary of..." format (two chapters of diary entries with a third chapter of prose) which served the basis for another two stories, Diary of the Damned and Diary of an Overlord respectively.
In addition to these short stories, I am also working on a trilogy of full-length novels comprising Books 4 to 6 of The Tak'Rahn Chronicles, a series of stories originally set as the backdrop for a computer game I've been developing for more years than I wish to acknowledge. Books 1 to 3 are to be told through this computer game (if and when I actually finish it) while Books 4 to 6 will be in literary prose format. When I feel ready to do so I will release more details of these books on the main literature page.
This biography was written on 28th February 2018.
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